Be Broken | Sexual Integrity Ministry
  • MEN
    • MEN'S RESOURCE PAGE
    • First 7 Days for Men
    • Gateway to Freedom >
      • Register for GTF >
        • Texas GTF
        • Florida GTF
      • GTF FAQs
      • Aftercare
      • GTF Testimonials
      • Support Group Central
      • GTF Alumni Tribe >
        • Media Encouragement
    • Online Courses for Men
  • WOMEN
    • WOMEN'S RESOURCE PAGE
    • First 7 Days for Women
    • WIVES CARE >
      • First 7 Days for Wives
      • Wives Webinar
      • Wives Care Groups
      • Videos for Wives
    • Online Courses for Women
  • FAMILY
    • FAMILY RESOURCE PAGE
    • First 7 Days for Parents
    • Father Son Session
    • Online Courses for Families
  • Donate
  • Resources
    • Books
    • Blog
    • Podcast
    • Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit
    • More Resources
  • About
    • Our Team
    • Beliefs
    • Calendar
    • Contact

Are Your Struggles Rooted in Disappointment with God?

8/19/2014

0 Comments

 
by Gerard Terry
Picture
Yesterday, I met a man who had engaged in unlawful sexual behavior involving pornography for a decade. He described his anger at God for not providing him a wife after years of prayer. Today, I sat thinking of a woman I met two years ago who engaged in unlawful sexual behavior following anger at God for not providing her a husband. Both felt justified in their “self help” conduct to feel better when their expectations of God went unfulfilled. I often feel the same way.

My Unmet Expectations, My Sin

I next considered how my disappointment with God has played a role in my pornography use. While I cannot identify a 1-1 correlation, I can recall a much stronger tendency to involve myself in sexual sin when God’s provision has not met my expectations. I recall thinking “why not sin and feel better?” In this “self help” mode, I felt that God was unlikely to punish me worse. Conversely, when I had joy in seeing the expectations of my wants and needs met, I avoided pornography because I didn’t want God to withdraw the blessing. 

Unmet Expectations May Occur For a Greater Purpose

When our expectations of God or life are unmet, we first assume we are being punished or that we’ve been abandoned by God – that He does not care. The Bible doesn’t support this assumption. First, our loving Father disciplines those he loves – not punishes. Jesus already took the full punishment for our sins on the cross, once and for all. Next, God’s discipline is a loving “care” for us, not an abandonment of our well-being. We can’t always see behind the scenes. Look at the bigger purpose behind Job’s tremendous loss and suffering. Stephen was not being disciplined when stoned for his faith, was he? Joseph was sold into slavery while doing nothing bad. At another point in his life, he was put in prison for running (literally) from sin with Potiphar’s wife. Looking back now, we can see God’s plan to save a nation through Joseph.

The Bird’s Eye View

You and I rationalize sinful conduct to feel better in our circumstances. We think that our anger and pornography use is justified because God has not given us a spouse, or because He took one away. When chewed out by a boss or lied to by a close friend, we justify conduct to make us feel better. Yet, only by trusting in Jesus to accomplish His good purpose in both our joy and our distress will we keep our sanity. Like Joseph, we simply don’t have the bird’s eye view to see where God is taking us through our “good” and “bad” experiences. 

I have known several clients who lost their jobs after being falsely accused of wrongdoing. In most every instance, after a period of suffering, they drew closer to God in dependence. Then, they ended up with even better jobs than before. What outsiders might have seen as discipline for wrongdoing, looking back, I now see discipline for the sake of refinement and eventual blessing. In some cases though, like Stephen’s stoning or the death of a child from cancer, we may never know God’s purpose.

Expectations of God and Others

My wife recently told me that my frustration with family members and friends is based on my expectations of them. She counseled me to have lower expectations of others in order to experience less disappointment. She was right on track. With changed expectations, I have less disappointment and hurt. 

Can we apply this principle to God? Is it fair to have expectations of what our creator should and should not do? 

“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?'" Romans 9:20 

While we have promises from God in the Bible, they are not real specific. Perhaps we will suffer less distress and disappointment if we only expect His great love for us. Beyond that, we get into deep disappointment when we impose our expectations on Him. In this disappointment, we tend to lose perspective on life. Then, in an attempt to feel better, we engage in harmful behaviors like pornography. As the man and woman I mentioned above, long-term disappointment with God can result in progressive anger toward Him. Carrying prolonged anger can even result in our justifying unlawful sexual behavior to make us feel better.

I want to suggest that our expectations of God and others creates a good share of the disappointment we experience. In many cases, these expectations are unfair to the freedom others enjoy to manage their lives as they see fit (both good and bad). They are also inconsistent with God’s authority over us, His creation. When we come to accept this and adjust our internal expectations accordingly, we will have a lot less disappointment and pain in life. With less pain and disappointment, we will find less need to medicate with pornography or other destructive habits.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Search for a Topic:

    Subscribe to Blog:

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2020
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    March 2020
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    November 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    November 2010
    September 2009
    July 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    October 2008

Follow @bebroken

Ministry

Help for MEN
Help for WOMEN
Help for FAMILY
More Resources
Contact Us

Site

Terms of Use
Privacy
Disclaimer
Picture
© COPYRIGHT 2005-2020 BE BROKEN MINISTRIES AND ITS LICENSORS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
To request reuse permission, email permission@bebroken.com.
  • MEN
    • MEN'S RESOURCE PAGE
    • First 7 Days for Men
    • Gateway to Freedom >
      • Register for GTF >
        • Texas GTF
        • Florida GTF
      • GTF FAQs
      • Aftercare
      • GTF Testimonials
      • Support Group Central
      • GTF Alumni Tribe >
        • Media Encouragement
    • Online Courses for Men
  • WOMEN
    • WOMEN'S RESOURCE PAGE
    • First 7 Days for Women
    • WIVES CARE >
      • First 7 Days for Wives
      • Wives Webinar
      • Wives Care Groups
      • Videos for Wives
    • Online Courses for Women
  • FAMILY
    • FAMILY RESOURCE PAGE
    • First 7 Days for Parents
    • Father Son Session
    • Online Courses for Families
  • Donate
  • Resources
    • Books
    • Blog
    • Podcast
    • Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit
    • More Resources
  • About
    • Our Team
    • Beliefs
    • Calendar
    • Contact