by Gerard Terry
Kids from Single Parent Homes
We have all read the statistics – kids from homes with single mothers have life complications. They have more problems at school, are susceptible to teen pregnancy, and experience more substance abuse. The bottom line? Kids need two parents. The uncontested conclusion is that dads matter and quality time with kids is critical. Untested, is exactly how much time. Regardless, we know that more time is better.
Pornography Takes Dads From Their Kids
Pornography takes a dad away from his kids. Whether dad is sitting at a computer at work viewing pornography or at home doing the same, he is not interacting with his children. He misses their life experiences and they adapt. Another result is the dad who gets so involved in porn that he engages in sex with a prostitute or has an affair. The end result is predictable, as divorce follows and the family splits up. Then, dad is not home when the kids wake up or when they go to bed. Time with kids is lost.
Let’s Look at You
So, are you devoting time to pornography in place of time with your kids? Are you coming home from work late? Are you stopping off at an adult book store along the way home? Have you chatted sexually with another woman or met someone for sex? Are you robbing your kids by leaving their mother after meeting another woman? Have you exposed your wife to an STD and threatened not only the emotional health of your home, but its physical health as well? Your wife and kids will not escape unstained by your sexual sin. There is a toxic overflow from this nasty habit and it spills onto your loved ones.
We are foolish when we think, “this is my problem and I can insulate my family from the effects of my porn habit.” Choosing to involve yourself in pornography will necessarily rob your family of time with you. Kids are a treasure and gift from God. So is their mother. Have you considered the consequences of eroding your relationship with them for a temporary thrill?
Your Family Deserves all of You
You must deal with this issue for your children’s sake and for your marriage. Don’t look back 10 years from now on a wasted life full of regret. Your family is your greatest responsibility. Too often, we men are slowly drawn into changing our schedules and loyalties without notice. Porn is sneaky and dangerous. It can change your work schedule, when you get home, and your attitude toward your family.
Have you ever resented your wife or kids for interfering with your desire for pornography? Have you ever been possessed by shame or anger over the time you wasted with porn? Your kids and wife suffer when you snap at them, avoid them, or are absent from home or activities. Your heart matters too – you can’t fully love your family and a porn mistress at the same time.
Don’t be one of the men who chooses his porn and lust over his family. Make the decision today which you will never regret. Start seeing a counselor, join a men’s support group and attend a Be Broken Ministries weekend intensive workshop. Your family needs what only you can give: your time.
(Now, re-read this blog post inserting "self-idolatry" for the word porn or pornography. Maybe this will come closer to exposing the real heart of the issue...)